


Theory Versus Practice

by fluffninja (Luddleston)



Category: Free!
Genre: Awkward Sex, First Time, M/M, Oral Sex, nagisa tops
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-19
Updated: 2014-05-19
Packaged: 2018-01-25 18:45:46
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,241
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1658636
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Luddleston/pseuds/fluffninja
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Theory applies just as well to real life when it comes to dating as it does to swimming, and while Rei understands kissing on principle, there's no way he's going to be able to apply it without Nagisa intervening somehow.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Theory Versus Practice

**Author's Note:**

> I really like awkward sex, so here you go. Awkward and cute and possibly sexy, I don't know how good I am at being sexy.

The air was warm and Nagisa was lying on Rei’s shoulder, chattering on and on about something (Rei couldn’t quite remember what), and it would have been an enjoyable date (were they calling them dates yet?) if his head wasn’t spinning for the entirety of it. 

He was good at theories, practicalities, at reading books and learning from them and putting the theories into practice. Sadly, there was no theory that could encompass the being that was Nagisa. Everything about him was so unexplained, spontaneous, and made Rei just want to sit him down and ask him to explain everything about himself. 

Nagisa probably wouldn’t be so great at that. He had the heart of a romantic, Rei knew, and wanted Rei to figure things out for himself, or whatever. 

In any case, there weren’t very many books on the theories of how to kiss his crush/boyfriend/best friend/whatever Nagisa actually was. Actually there weren’t many books on how to kiss at all. Rei had, however, found numerous online resources, and he was confident that he’d discovered everything about the theory of kissing (and several things beyond kissing that he hadn’t intentionally come across). 

“Rei-chan, are you listening?” Nagisa asked, stopping in his tirade to pull on Rei’s arm and get his attention. 

“Oh! Um, I was thinking...” Rei said plucking Nagisa’s arm off of his, and Nagisa pouted at him for tuning about his rant. 

“What could be so incredibly thought-provoking that you stopped listening to my detailed description of how adorable penguins are?” 

This was one of those times where Rei wasn’t sure whether Nagisa was kidding or not, and whether he was meant to answer. 

“Kissing?” he said before he could stop himself. 

“ _Oh, Rei-chan_ ,” Nagisa gushed, “you want to kiss me?” 

“I never said anything about you specifically!” Rei protested, but his actions said otherwise. He clutched harder at Nagisa’s arm and went red, hoping Nagisa didn’t notice. 

Nagisa noticed. He giggled and his eyes got all sparkly like they did whenever he got a really bad idea or was about to tackle someone. Rei got the feeling that this was going to be a mixture of the two. “Nagisa, we’re in _public_ ,” Rei reminded him. Granted, there was no one else in the park and the bench they were seated on was mostly hidden by nearby trees, but Rei couldn’t help but squirm at the idea that someone could just wander in, especially if Nagisa was talking about kissing him. 

“Ssh, it’s fine,” Nagisa soothed, stroking Rei’s arm. “If you weren’t thinking about me, I don’t mind.” He put his hand on Rei’s knee and glanced up at him slyly through his eyelashes. “Of course, if you _were_ , I’d be flattered.” 

Rei’s mind was in overdrive, and he was pretty sure his glasses were fogging up with how much steam his brain was putting out. Or maybe that was just his eyesight getting blurry because he was focusing too intensely on Nagisa’s eyes. “Nagisa, I... I’ve never kissed anyone before,” he admitted, finally tearing himself away from Nagisa’s eyes to become very interested in the fountain directly across from them. He briefly thought about how Haru would have jumped into it by now. 

Nagisa laid his head on Rei’s shoulder again. “I get it,” he said quietly. “I have, but... I know you’d want your first kiss to be special, and with someone you like, so if that’s not me, I understand.” 

“No, that’s not what I mean at all!” Rei jumped so hard he dislodged Nagisa from his shoulder. “I do like you...” he could feel his face burning up, but at this point it was more logical to be up-front. “I just don’t think I’ll be very good at it.” 

“Nobody’s good at it at first,” Nagisa said with a shrug. “Thankfully, though,” he nudged Rei’s cheek with his nose then, “you have a pretty awesome tutor.” Rei felt his eyelids flutter as Nagisa smoothed his hands down the front of Rei’s shirt. 

It was slow at first, but it didn’t feel slow, because Rei’s heart and his mind was racing. Nagisa had one hand behind his neck, running his fingers through the short hair at his nape, and his lips were just as firm and smooth as his fingertips. Honestly, Rei would have expected him to feel soft, but he liked this even better. “Wow, you’re really tense,” Nagisa noted with a frown as he pulled back. “Did you not like it?” 

“I like it!” Rei replied, a little too quickly and a little too loudly. He tried to prove it by moving forward and kissing Nagisa back, but failed epically when he smacked his nose against Nagisa’s hard. 

“Ow!” Nagisa yelped, leaning backward and reaching up to cup his nose in one hand. 

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry!” Rei gasped, his hands fumbling uselessly as he tried to figure out what to do. Nagisa waved him off with the other hand. 

“Rei, cupcake, you gotta tilt your head,” he said with a wry smile and a laugh. 

“Yes, I did now realize that the angle with which I approached the situation was not optimal... wait, ‘cupcake’?” 

Nagisa turned himself so that his back was resting against the arm of the bench, putting his legs over Rei’s. He ran his fingers along Rei’s shoulder, curling them up along his neck to his cheek. Rei had to admit, he liked the gentle touches, and he was surprised that Nagisa, who was so prone to bowling people over, could be this way. “Sure. I mean, we like each other... like as in _that kinda way_ , so I figured a nickname would be cute!” 

Nicknames aside, it wasn’t like they were dating, was it? Wait. Was it? Rei wasn’t sure what the proper protocol on asking someone out was. He knew there was something about confessions of love (Makoto got one from some girl at least once a month), but other than that, he was definitely lost. 

Well. Better go the confession route, then. “Nagisa?” 

“Yeah?” Nagisa asked. He rubbed his nose one more time and sniffed, as though he was making sure it still worked properly. Rei was just glad he hadn’t done any worse than giving both of them minor bruises. 

Rei shifted his legs under Nagisa’s and rested a hand on his knee, hoping Nagisa couldn’t feel him shaking through his bright yellow jeans. “Um, I just wanted to express to you how much I’ve... I’ve come to care for you. Admittedly, I found you annoying and frustrating at first, and sometimes you still are—frustrating, not annoying! But. Well.” 

Nagisa leaned over and pecked Rei on the cheek. “I love you too, Rei-chan,” he said, and Rei could hear the smile on his face and feel his cheeks get warm. 

“So. Um. Are we boyfriends now?” He could feel his hands getting sweaty again. 

Nagisa laughed. “Yeah. Yeah, we are.” He scooted forward so that he was seated fully in Rei’s lap, then wound an arm around the taller boy’s shoulders. “Does that mean I can kiss you again?”

“Yes!” Rei replied, with probably too much enthusiasm. 

Nagisa grabbed Rei’s chin with the hand that wasn’t on his shoulders and tipped his head down to slide their lips together for the second time. Rei was a bit more relaxed this time, but he was still nervous about making things good for both of them, and he decided to try something different. The websites he’d consulted had all suggested using his tongue to kiss, which still didn’t make a lot of sense to him, but he stuck his tongue out and tried to lick along the line of Nagisa’s lips.

His boyfriend pulled back and laughed loudly, rubbing their foreheads together. “Rei-chan, you really don’t know what you’re doing, do you?” 

“Was I that bad?” 

“You did a good job at acting like a puppy.” 

Rei could feel the switch in his brain flipping into panic mode. “Oh god, I’m awful at this, aren’t I? You’re dating the world’s worst kisser. Are you going to break up with me?” He tipped his head forward and buried his face in Nagisa’s shoulder, awkwardly half-hugging him. He was so bad at romance.

“Oh no, no, no, ssh,” Nagisa soothed, putting both his arms around Rei now and shifting so that he had a knee on either side of Rei’s lap. Had he been doing anything other than comforting Rei for his abysmal kissing skills, the position would probably have been very sensual, but Rei was busy lamenting how much he salivated. “Rei-chan, no one’s good at kissing at first, that’s why you practice.” He leaned back, that familiar glint in his eyes. “You practice a _lot_.” 

\---

They did practice a lot. So much, in fact, that Rei ended up making out with Nagisa just after practice in the locker room, trying not to think about the fact that Makoto and Haru were on the other side of the door to the showers. Which was, in fact, just a curtain, and he was pressed back against the wall next to it. 

His neck hurt, because Nagisa was so short, but he couldn’t figure out how to remedy that, ever. It was fine if they were sitting down, but now, with Nagisa draping his arm around his shoulders and practically hanging off him to press quick kisses all over his lips (butterfly kisses, Rei thought wryly), things easily became uncomfortable. And not just in the neck-hurting way. 

Only when Nagisa dropped back all the way to the floor did Rei realize he’d been standing on his tiptoes. “Sorry,” Nagisa said breathlessly, “but standing like that for so long gets kind of hard.” (Other things were also kind of hard, but Nagisa was too busy staring up at Rei’s face to pay any attention to what was going on below the waistband of his swimsuit.)

Nagisa started kissing his neck and chest, which he could reach from his height, and Rei sighed, hoping that either Makoto and Haru couldn’t hear them, or if they could, that they’d never mention it ever. “Nagisa, don’t leave marks... after last time, I swear...” 

“I know, I know,” Nagisa crooned into the dip of his collarbone, slipping his fingers below the waistband of Rei’s legskin to scrape his fingernails over Rei’s hips. 

“We’re gonna get caught,” Rei groaned, but at this point he was pretty sure Nagisa was an exhibitionist. That, or he had no shame. 

It was probably a mix of both, Rei decided, as Nagisa pulled away, hopped up one more time to peck him on the lips, and penguin-waddled back into the room like he hadn’t just been getting one of his teammates hot and bothered in the shower. In fact, Nagisa hardly looked affected at all. Rei was considering asking him how he was so good at avoiding awkward erections, until anxiety doused him like a cold bucket of water. 

What if the reason Nagisa always seemed so unaffected after they kissed was that he didn’t want to go any further with Rei, because Rei was obviously going to be just as awkward with sex as he had been with kissing? Or if Nagisa didn’t like him that much? Or even if Nagisa just wasn’t ready for that, and that made the fact that Rei definitely was really weird and uncomfortable for both of them?

Makoto walked into the showers just after Nagisa left, and stared a bit at the look on Rei’s face. “Are you okay?” 

“What? Yes. Fine. I’m fine.” He was pretty sure he didn’t look fine. He wasn’t wearing his glasses or his goggles, so Makoto looked pretty blurry right about now, but he could imagine the look of concern on Makoto’s face. 

“Okay,” Makoto said, but he patted Rei on the shoulder anyway and said something about talking to him if he needed anything. Yeah right. Rei was going to have enough trouble talking to Nagisa about this. Or breathing. He was going to have a lot of trouble breathing if he didn’t calm down right about now. 

He finally made his way out of the showers and back into his uniform. “Hey, Rei-chan, want to hang out at your house?” Nagisa asked, which was a clever way of both inviting himself over and asking Rei if he wanted to cuddle and watch movies and kiss during the romantic parts. Rei didn’t know if he could stand doing that today. 

“Uh, not today,” Rei replied, making his way out of the locker room as he slung his backpack over his shoulder. “Homework, and... and stuff.” 

He didn’t glance over his shoulder to see Nagisa frowning at him. He was about as awful at pretending like he was okay as he was at kissing. 

“Rei!” It wouldn’t be the first time Nagisa followed him home. “Rei-chan, wait, don’t go!” 

“I really have to go,” Rei protested, but Nagisa was running after him and grabbing his arm.

“Are you okay? What’s going on?” 

It may have been a very passive-aggressive way of asking it, but Rei did it anyways. “Am I still that bad at kissing?” They were approaching the train station, but there weren’t many people around, so Rei felt as comfortable as he could with talking about their relationship in public. 

“What? No! Why would you think that?” Nagisa hugged him and buried his head in Rei’s shoulder. “You’re getting a lot better actually! What makes you even think that?” 

“I just... I can’t tell you here,” Rei said, feeling his cheeks go red. Someone was already staring at them. 

“Okay, so should we go back to your place?” 

Great job at saying things that sound like enormous innuendos out of context, Nagisa. Still, Rei’s apartment did make more sense. His parents lived in the city, but Rei had wanted to go to Iwatobi for high school, so they rented him an apartment, because he had proven to be responsible enough. And it made it convenient for little blonde boyfriends to come over. 

\---

Rei got fidgety when he was nervous. So naturally, he was sitting on his bed, twirling the charm on his phone that Nagisa had gotten him for their one-month anniversary (it was a butterfly), and trying not to freak out. 

“So, what did you want to talk about?” Nagisa asked. He was sitting kind of like how he had been when they decided to start dating, with his legs strewn over Rei’s lap. 

“I don’t understand how you can be so calm about all this,” Rei sighed. 

“Because. Couples are _supposed_ to talk about stuff that happens, it’s how this whole relationship thing _works_. I’m just glad you actually want to, and you’re not just trying to pretend like everything’s normal and you’re not freaking out,” Nagisa said, grabbing one of Rei’s pillows and hugging it. 

Granted, if Rei actually had the ability to pretend like he wasn’t freaking out, he probably would, but his emotions ranged from completely transparent to ‘if you’re Nagisa, you definitely know what’s up’. He sighed and tipped his head back against the wall, considering taking his glasses off just so he wouldn’t have to worry about looking around at everything. That would make it hard for him to observe Nagisa’s facial expressions and ascertain his reaction, however. 

“I just... I thought I still wasn’t making you feel good.” 

“Why in the world would you think that?” Nagisa asked, brows furrowing. “I always tell you that you do!” He did. Sometimes very loudly and in public. 

“Be...cause... you just don’t react to it the same way I do, and you don’t seem to... uh... want _more_.” 

“What do you mean by—” Nagisa paused, a look of realization sliding onto his face. “ _Oh._ ” He chuckled and put the pillow aside, drawing himself up onto his knees to straddle Rei. “Is that what you think? Rei, you always tell me how much of a pervert I am; I was just trying to make you comfortable.” Nagisa leaned his forehead against Rei’s, and Rei ran his hands up Nagisa’s back. “But I guess I’ve been doing my job.” 

“You have,” Rei murmured. “But there’s nothing... _wrong_ about stepping outside one’s comfort zone, correct?” 

Nagisa’s eyes lit up, right before they narrowed into a hooded gaze that made Rei feel like everything lower than his midsection turned into jelly. “Nothing at all,” he said, seating himself so that his weight was on Rei’s thighs, dragging his fingers down the front of Rei’s shirt. He kissed Rei once on the lips, then on his chin and down his neck, fingers unbuttoning his shirt as he went. “You’re sure you’re okay with this?” Nagisa asked, glancing back up. 

Rei was pretty sure his frantic heartbeat, flushes face, and heavy breathing told the story well enough, but he realized Nagisa was waiting for him to say it out loud. “Yeah.” 

Nagisa’s fingers tickled his ribs and he let out a breathless laugh. “You _are_ talking about sex, right?” Nagisa asked. 

He almost rolled his yes. “Yes, I’m talking about sex!” 

Nagisa let out a slow breath and Rei realized his fingers were shaking a bit. “Are you okay?” he asked, lacing his fingers through Nagisa’s. 

“Yeah, I’m just kind of...” Nagisa blew out a long breath. “I’m really excited,” he said quietly, his smile audible in his words. 

“Me too,” Rei said, bumping his nose against Nagisa’s. He was leaning in to kiss his boyfriend when Nagisa started talking again. 

“I mean seriously, I’ve been thinking about this for a long time, _dreaming_ about it. Literally.” A giggle punctuated his sentence, and he peeled Rei’s shirt down his arms before undoing his own tie, which was already significantly rumpled, since Nagisa couldn’t be bothered to tie it properly after swim practice. Nagisa rid himself of his shirt in record time, almost comparable to Haru’s, and Rei dragged his hands down Nagisa’s sides. 

“Are we really doing this?” he asked, laughing nervously. 

“Oh, we’re doing this,” Nagisa replied with a nod, scooting forward so that his legs were pressed tightly around Rei’s hips. Nagisa was always warm, but his passion had turned that gentle warmth into a burning heat, and Rei could quite clearly feel how aroused his boyfriend was. He wondered vaguely if Nagisa was noticing the same about him. 

For a while, Nagisa just kissed him the same way he always had, but it felt more... charged. Maybe it was because of the spark of arousal that flooded both of them, or the fact that he could feel Nagisa breathing harder than usual whenever he pulled away instead of just seeing his chest rise and fall. The skin-on-skin contact wasn’t new, considering how often they saw each other nearly-naked, but the promise of something more made Rei’s hart beat faster. 

When Nagisa started rolling his hips, Rei gasped. “Nagisa!” he half-whispered, half-moaned, having not expected Nagisa to do something like that without warning. But that would be out of character for him, considering Nagisa did everything without warning. He must have taken Rei’s cry as a signal to continue, and he did, grinding against Rei like he was an expert. 

Rei felt like he did when he’d first started swimming. The water was closing under his head, he was sinking and he didn’t know how to propel his body through it yet. Theory only got him so far with swimming and it got him a similar distance here (although it wasn’t like he did a lot of research on sexual acts). Thankfully, just like when he began swimming, he was with someone who knew what he was doing. Nagisa kissed him again and Rei clung onto him, pressing their chests together and burying his face in Nagisa’s neck when they parted. 

“I’ve... never done this,” he admitted, and Nagisa’s fingers started tracing patterns onto his back. Rei thought they were hearts, or maybe butterflies. 

“It’s okay,” Nagisa crooned, “I haven’t either, we’ll go slow, okay?” 

For the first time, Rei was in a situation where Nagisa had done more research on something than he had. Or at least he looked like he had. Nagisa crawled off the bed and made a show of undoing his belt and dragging his pants down over his hips, his tongue poking out to lick his lips as he did. Rei pressed a hand to his face and blushed, feeling a tug in the base of his stomach as Nagisa rolled his hips like he’d just been doing all over him. 

“This isn’t too weird, right?” Nagisa asked, referring to his striptease. His tone sounded casual, but Rei could tell he was nervous by his eyes darting around. 

“It’s...” he caught himself, almost saying ‘beautiful’, “...sexy.” 

“Good,” Nagisa breathed, unbuttoning his pants and pulling them all the way off. Rei’s cock twitched as his eyes stuck on the bulge in Nagisa’s underwear (pink boxer briefs, of course). Nagisa grinned and took Rei’s hand, slowly bringing it down to press against him, and Rei’s breath left him in a rush. 

He felt like he just sat there for an inordinate amount of time, barely believing that he was touching Nagisa this way, that he could feel how hard his boyfriend was for him. “See what you do to me?” Nagisa said, and Rei’s eyes flickered up to meet Nagisa’s. 

Right. Initiative. He was supposed to do that thing. 

Rei cupped Nagisa’s hips in each of his hands and leaned forward, kissing him about halfway between his sternum and navel, reveling in the happy sigh Nagisa released. “You too, Rei-chan?” Nagisa asked, tapping his still-clothed knee. 

“Oh! Right!” Rei yelped, hopping off the bed so he could take his pants off, keenly aware of how Nagisa’s eyes were eating him up. Sure, Nagisa was taking his socks off while he watched, but that didn’t distract him from staring intently at Rei, whose fingers were fumbling with his zipper. Definitely not sexy. 

“Need some help with that?” Nagisa asked, his eyes still watching Rei’s fingers move.

“I... _no_ , I’ve got it, I can take my pants off myself, I’m not _three_ ,” Rei said, completely missing the fact that Nagisa meant it in a sexual way until he pushed his hands away and pulled Rei by his belt loops to grind against him again. “ _Oh!_ ” Rei gasped out of surprise, leaning into Nagisa’s touch just as Nagisa shifted his hips away so he could undo Rei’s pants for him. 

“There you go,” Nagisa said with a huge grin, and Rei stepped forward, kicking his pants off, and, in a rare moment of confidence, kissed Nagisa so hard he actually kind of swept him off his feet. All of Nagisa’s weight ended up in Rei’s arm, and he was clinging to his back, one of his legs moving up to wrap around Rei’s waist like something out of a crappy romance novel. 

There was no way that could last for long, because even though Rei was strong, he couldn’t carry Nagisa for an extended amount of time, and he stumbled back into a standing position, his balance somewhat hampered by the fact that he was so turned on. 

“That was so hot,” Nagisa said, between sloppy kisses to Rei’s chest and collarbone. “Oh god. Lay down.”

Rei obeyed him, laying back on the bed but propping himself up on his elbows. “What do you want to do about...” he gestured at his boxers with one hand, and Nagisa’s eyes flickered down to them. 

“Want me to take those off too?” 

Rei shook his head. “I think I can get this,” he said. He was nervous, because the last person who had seen him naked in his life was probably his mom when he was like six, and he’d never been naked with company in this kind of context. Still, this was Nagisa, whom he trusted, even loved. Rei slid his boxers over his hips and kicked them off, and Nagisa knelt on the bed next to him and ran his hand up his thigh. 

“May I?” 

“Please,” Rei panted, only feeling like he was begging a little. 

Nagisa curled his hand around Rei’s cock and started to stroke him slowly, and Rei tipped his head back, squeezing his eyes shut and feeling his glasses starting to slide off. His chest felt tight and he realized he was holding his breath, trying to avoid letting out the noises bubbling up in his throat. Nagisa moaned his name and rubbed himself against Rei’s hip, speeding up his strokes the tiniest bit. 

“Shit,” Nagisa swore suddenly, stilling his hand. 

“What?” Rei said, sitting up, and Nagisa giggled at how lopsided his glasses were. 

“We don’t have... wait. Do you?” 

“What are you talking about?” Rei asked, surprised at how husky his own voice sounded. 

“Stuff. Like, condoms and stuff. Lube. You know?” Nagisa had his knees pressed together and was gripping the sheets tightly in one hand. “I would have been prepared but I didn’t expect to do it right now and... uh... yeah.” 

Somehow, it helped to know Nagisa wasn’t perfect at all of this. “Uh, I actually do,” Rei said, swinging his legs of the bed and heading toward the bathroom. He was proud of himself when he almost wobbled a little bit, and even more pleased when he could practically feel Nagisa staring at his ass. 

Rei leaned against the sink in his bathroom and took a few deep breaths. The only way he was prepared for this whole encounter was that he’d purchased a box of condoms a few weeks back. The lube had actually been given to him as a joke, and he didn’t imagine he’d ever have to use it, but that was before things got serious with Nagisa. 

“Oh, good, I thought you were freaking out in there,” Nagisa said when Rei came out of the bathroom. He wasn’t entirely wrong, but it wasn’t like Rei was going to tell him that, especially when he looked so perfect, sprawled out on the bed with his legs apart and one hand loosely gripping his cock. 

“Of course not,” Rei scoffed, setting the supplies on the bed and kneeling next to Nagisa, absolutely certain that his unsureness of what to do next was written all over his face. “Do you wanna... be on top?” he asked, very aware of how much his voice squeaked when he did. 

He could practically see Nagisa’s eyes sparkling. “Fuck yeah,” Nagisa said, shoving Rei somewhat bodily onto his back to kiss him. 

Rei had to admit, he was surprised that Nagisa could push him over so easily, but he probably shouldn’t have been, considering how much of his body felt like it was melting under Nagisa’s touch. Nagisa squeezed his shoulders and ran his hands down Rei’s chest, then back up his neck to cup his cheeks and kiss him harder. Nagisa was making all these tiny sounds that made Rei’s fingers tighten on his thighs. When Nagisa’s cock bumped against his, Rei felt sparks erupt through his whole body, and he moaned into Nagisa’s shoulder. Nagisa let out a breathy “ _ah!_ ” above him. 

“This has gotta stop before it’s over way too fast,” Nagisa breathed, leaning back and rifling around the bed for the lube, which he’d already lost, of course.

“Do you know what you’re doing?” Rei couldn’t help but ask, keeping his flinching to a minimum while Nagisa snapped open the cap on the lube with a sound that echoed loudly over their quiet breaths. 

“Of course, Rei-chan, _I did my research,_ ” Nagisa said, the sultry tone slipping back into his voice and making Rei shiver. Not to mention how turned on he was by the idea of Nagisa researching (granted, Nagisa’s “research” was probably a lot of porn, but Rei tried to push that idea to the back of his mind). 

He was so engrossed in thinking about Nagisa watching porn that he nearly missed Nagisa’s fingers bumping up against his entrance. As soon as he noticed it, though, he tensed up and instinctively wiggled away from the intrusion. “Relax,” Nagisa said slowly, holding Rei’s hand in one of his to anchor him. 

“Sorry, Nagisa, I just... it feels weird...”

“Would this help?” Nagisa asked, dropping his head to press his lips against the head of Rei’s cock while his fingers pressed forward once again. 

“I...” Rei began, tipping his head back and his glasses skipping up to his forehead. The feeling of Nagisa gently sucking him was amazing, and unlike anything else, but it was hard to concentrate on that and the feeling of Nagisa’s middle finger nudging inside of him. He wanted it to continue, but at the same time, his heart was beating faster than it should have and he couldn’t control his breathing, and it was more from panic than pleasure. “Please...”

“Please what?” Nagisa asked, lifting his lips for a second before going back down on him. 

“P-please stop!” 

Nagisa immediately froze, pulling back and dragging his fingers (oh god had he really already gotten two of them in there?) out. “Oh! Are you okay?” 

“It’s just too much,” Rei panted, and Nagisa leaned up to take his glasses off (with the hand that hadn’t just been fingering him) and kissed him on both cheeks and his nose. 

“I’m so sorry, we can stop...” Nagisa said, and Rei pulled him to his chest and kissed his lips again. It was amazing how just a few months ago, that action would have sent Rei spiraling into anxiety, but now, the feeling of Nagisa’s lips against his was comforting and familiar. 

Rei shook his head when they parted. “I don’t think I want to stop,” he said, his breath still shuddering. Nagisa put his glasses on the bedside table, then patted his arm as if to make sure Rei knew where they were if he needed them. “But... um... would you mind if I did it to myself instead of you doing that to me? It’s not that I don’t like you, I just...”

“You want to be in control of your own body, right?” 

“Yes,” Rei said, and Nagisa simply smiled and handed him the lube. 

“We can do whatever you want.”

“How do I do this?” Rei asked, uncapping the lube again and pouring a little into the palm of his hand. 

“Use a little bit more than that,” Nagisa instructed, and he did as told, before setting the bottle to the side. “May I?” Nagisa asked, taking Rei’s wrist, and Rei simply nodded. There was absolutely nothing beautiful or erotic about his boyfriend spreading lube around his fingers, but Nagisa seemed so calm about it, like this was a totally normal thing for couples to do. Neither of them really knew what was normal, but Nagisa seemed to assume everything was, while Rei was skeptical. 

“Just go slow,” Nagisa said as he guided Rei onto his knees and nudged his legs apart. “You can hold onto me,” he offered, sitting down on the bed with his legs spread out, framing Rei’s. 

Rei braced one of his hands on Nagisa’s shoulder, the other reaching around behind him. It felt weird, but he was calmer, because he was completely in control of what was happening to him. The heady look on Nagisa’s face and the way his thumbs rubbed circles on his hips while his hands held him steady was also pretty helpful. “Ah...” Rei’s eyes squeezed shut and his mouth fell open as he slowly worked himself on his fingers, pressing more insistently now. 

“That’s it, Rei-chan,” Nagisa encouraged, “you’re doing so good, _oh_ , you should see your face.” One of Nagisa’s slightly sticky hands moved so he could wrap it around his cock (when had he gotten a condom on?), and Rei slid another finger into himself. His arousal had dissipated during all the panicking, but it was returning, and when he opened his eyes again, he was pleased at how Nagisa’s gaze kept darting between his cock and his face, sweeping over everything in between.  
“Touch me again?” Rei urged, pulling his fingers out of himself to move Nagisa’s free hand from his hip back to between his legs. 

Nagisa eagerly surged up to kiss Rei again, looping his arm around Rei’s neck while his fingers easily slid into him. He should have known Rei would be able to work himself open methodically, perfectly, and he sighed into their kiss, leaning back and pulling Rei down with him, not neatly. Once they both nudged each others’ elbows out of awkward places, Nagisa squeezed Rei’s shoulder. 

“You look so beautiful,” he sighed, curling his middle finger to press against Rei’s prostate, earning himself a shuddering moan of _“Nagisa!”_

“I think... I want more,” Rei said into the curve of Nagisa’s neck. Nagisa made to push a third finger into him, when Rei clarified. “I want _this,_ ” he explained, wrapping his hand around Nagisa’s cock and stroking him once, firmly. Nagisa whined in the back of his throat before sloppily kissing Rei’s chin and fumbling around the bed once again for the lube, his hand slipping out of Rei to assist in the task. Rei eventually found it, pressing it into Nagisa’s hand and watching with more eagerness than he ever had before as Nagisa prepared himself. 

“Are you gonna lay down, or are you gonna ride my dick?” Nagisa asked, and it was completely crude and in any other context, Rei would have frowned at him and chastised him for it, but he was too far gone to do anything other than pointedly stay where he was at.

“This angle will be optimal, if my calculations are correct,” he said. 

“We have got to work on your dirty talk,” Nagisa giggled, but he bit his lip and breathed hard through his nose as Rei guided himself onto his cock and sank down slowly. “Oh, fuck,” he moaned when Rei was as far down as he felt he could go. Nagisa ran his hands down Rei’s abs (he really seemed to like those) and then moved to hold his thighs. 

Rei tried rolling his hips like Nagisa always seemed to do, and his boyfriend squirmed underneath him and moaned again. “That feels so good, Rei-chan,” Nagisa said, and Rei would have though all his exaggerated moans and dirty talk were fake, if not for the fact that Nagisa was as enthusiastic about everything else as he was for sex. 

Although he would have though all the awkwardness and nervousness would make it hard to come, Rei was soon coming to terms with the fact that he was not going to last much longer. Nagisa had excellently gauged his comfort levels this time, and started meeting Rei’s downward rolls with thrusts of his own. Rei was glad he’d taken his glasses off, because he was sure that Nagisa’s face would have sent him over the edge. 

As if Rei wasn’t already overwhelmed, one of Nagisa’s hand slid off of his thigh to stroke him, matching the rhythm of his thrusts so perfectly Rei wondered if he’d been a musician in a past life. 

“I’m close,” Rei whined, and Nagisa just pushed the slightest bit harder, changing his angle so he was hitting the right spot without relief. 

“I know,” Nagisa panted, “you’re making this really gorgeous face right now.” 

Rei wasn’t sure how anything he was doing with his face was at all beautiful, but he didn’t have time to contemplate, because he was coming, and even though his eyes slammed shut, he could feel Nagisa staring at him all the way through it, watching him as he came undone, and he had this strange urge to put a hand over Nagisa’s eyes, because there was no way this was sexy. 

Apparently there was some way it was sexy, because Nagisa pulled Rei close to him and came almost immediately after him, laughing breathlessly at the end of it. “Wow,” Nagisa said, staring at him with his eyes sparkling. 

“We’re a mess,” Rei groaned, evaluating their sticky hands and the come on the bedsheets and how they’d accidentally left the lube open so some of it spilled. 

“Can we not think about that for a minute?” Nagisa asked, curling into him. “I just had an amazing time with my hot and sexy boyfriend, so I would rather not think about this,” he said, gesturing to the condom he’d tied off before throwing it at the trash can. Rei hoped his aim was good. 

“Should shower,” Rei muttered, but he wrapped his arms around Nagisa anyways. 

“Shush.” 

“You smell like sex,” he pointed out. 

“So do you,” Nagisa countered. “Just rest. And think about how awesome that was.” 

“It could have gone better,” Rei groaned. 

“Nope. Perfection. It will simply continue to be more perfect in the future.” 

“But Nagisa, I—”

“No. Agree with me,” Nagisa ordered. 

“Fine,” Rei agreed, cuddling up to Nagisa but secretly plotting how he was going to not freak out next time. He’d regret laying here when he woke up even more sticky and gross than before, but for now, Nagisa was warm in his arms and he was laying butterfly kisses all over Rei’s cheeks. 

Well. This would just have to be something else to practice.

**Author's Note:**

> As always, my tumblr is ellieannes if you want to talk to me about gay swimmers, and my NSFW tumblr is seldula, if you want to talk to me about gay swimmers doing it.


End file.
